I hate this, Meeting someone and getting attached to them. For me, all I so is think about how great this person is, how good they could be for me. I put all the perfect fantasies I into my head begging to god that they actually come true. But sure enough they never to. I’ve tried not caring, I’ve tried telling myself that I would no longer search for a boy that would make me happy. Because good things are supposed to come to people that wait. But I have been waiting forever. There’s this one boy. I’ve liked him on and off to find that he found his perfect girl and they were dating. I stuck friends with him and helped him when he needed it. But now I mean nothing to him. And that’s the worst feeling. There’s another boy that to this day I have feelings for even though I literally have EVERY reason to hate him. I keep pretending that I do, but in reality if he asked for me back right now I would say yes in a hot second. I feel pathetic and worthless and never good enough for anybody. When is it my turn??? I’ve waited so long. I know I’m young and there’s more important things to be worries about but I can’t seem to get past this one subject. I guess I’ll just have to try harder to not care or keep getting ridiculously attached to people that will never feel the same. I’m a worthless mess. Cause all I do is hurt myself cause I know it will never happen he way I want it to.
Attached.
So now I am going to do me. Focus on things that matter. Like school sports hahah I’m going to. I don’t care If I have a billion fake friends. Nope. Fuck that. You all suck and I’m deleting you.
I just want real friends. Not ones that stab you in the back constantly or only call you when you need something. No fuck you. It’s impossible to find. Real genuine people do not exist anymore.
